Sassy Perry Tweets

Hilarious tweets from the sassy side of Perry The Platypus! Follow him here.

Tweets

 * phineas: where da heck is perry me: girl, calm down im right here do you not see are you blind gosh
 * candace calm down do u not realize that phineas & ferb are never gonna be caught we went through this a million episodes
 * linda: brb i be gettin da grocery me: um girl y do u get the groceries everyday linda: wait how do u talk me: woops i mean grgrgrgrgrgrgr
 * sometimes im insecure of myself but then i realize im perry the freaking platypus im perf *flips invisible hair*
 * brick wall waterfall girl you think you got it all you don't, i do so BOOM with yo attitude
 * candace has a really long neck i bet it takes 26477372288 years for her to digest her food
 * hey guys im back major monogram had me stalk doofenshmirtz for like two weeks. its like he's obsessed with him or something
 * norm, ur a robot. if u want doofenshmirtz to treat you like a son then whoop his butt like i do everyday
 * ferb adds a whole new meaning to the term "blockhead"
 * candace, jeremy does not care what color bra u wear it's not like he's gonna see it
 * Disney why the heck r u barely airing my time in Africa this week? Omg u suk at schedules
 * Look at gravity falls, there are like months between every 2 episodes and my peeps at fish hooks they probably dead bc of how long it takes
 * I guess its better than being on nick tho we would've been canceled by now
 * phineas shouldn't run with that nose, he could poke someone's eye out
 * lol I should save these for the morning but Candace is snoring so loud even Carl can hear it
 * Mornin'! Monogram is already telling me to go see what doofenshmirtz is doin in da bathroom omg what the heck?
 * monogram not every one needs a theme song stop wasting ur money on those singers
 * candace: omg perry y r u so lame and stupid? me: say dat 1 more time to my freakin beaver tail that i'll sass u up with candace: wait wat?
 * me: oops I mean gyryryryr candace: mom I see what u mean by the platypus keeps talking to me!
 * #IfIWasJustinBieber I'd sass up doofenshmirtz for forcing me into that loser's body.
 * owca: omg we dont have money in our budget 2 send u 2 space *proceeds 2 pay my background singers, lair entrances, and other crud*
 * sometimes I wonder how phineas hasn't torn his pillows apart with that pointy head
 * phineas: omg ferb perry laid an egg! me: uh guys im not a girl who the fudge gave u that idea?
 * doof, start working out. i never wanna run into you in the shower again
 * i feel like blasting down a satellite just to see if candace would really be in charge
 * candace is watching pretty little liars. doofenshmirtz, if u build an inator 2 destroy that show, i wont stop u
 * candace just tripped on me again. gurl, you ain't the only one who got hurt in this.
 * linda: candace, u cray cray! me: you tell her! candace and linda: why do u keep talking 2 us? me: i said gyryryryryryryryr
 * sometimes i wonder how candace and linda understand me. i guess sassy is an international language
 * doofing woopenshmirt's butt!
 * jeremy how do u put up w/ur cray cray gurlfriend? omg i wouldve dumped her butt by now
 * Monogram u r such a moron sometimes i just feel like... uugggghhh
 * #My100Wishes 1-100: whoop doofenshmirtz's butt in the most spectacular way
 * just learned this celeb lives in dis town! he's green, has a duck bill and feet, beaver tail and--- wait, i'm that guy.
 * lol phineas poked ferb's eye out with his nose
 * lol candace u do realize ur dad knows about phineas and ferb just use that to justify ur not busting and move on!
 * #SeptemberWish Lol like I'm ever gonna see the likes of September
 * phineas how do u not get that ur mom doesnt know wat u do during da day, candace wants 2 bust u hard, and isabella <3's u? omg u so ignorant
 * tripped on a pipe. omg owca u need a better transportation system
 * #MyHomelessSignWouldSay "wow homelss omg nede mony hlpe plz ahh $$$" in comic sans
 * havin some of phineas' cereal. shhh! dont tell him, he h8z it wen i do that